Thursday, May 8, 2014

Sometimes the Journey Stinks!

My Mom, Anne Myers, playing jacks in the midst of her cancer battle.  I miss my Mom!
Nine years ago today, on Mother's Day, my Mother passed away after a valiant battle with cancer. After 9 years, I still have to stop myself from picking up the phone to ask her a question or tell her something. I'm 48 years old and, I'm not ashamed to say it, I miss my Mom!

Today, I'm getting all the details together for Walk a Mile in Their Shoes. Our church has held this event for the past 5 years to raise money for Relay for Life and Celebrate Life. The 1st walk was in memory of my mother. Organized, largely, by Debbie Lloyd. This year, we are walking in Debbie's memory. 

I'm sitting in front of the church watching the world go by. A big group of 1st & 2nd  graders just walked by on a Field Trip. Traffic is flowing (or not) as usual here between lights 7 & 8. Life goes on and the journey continues. Sometimes I just don't like the direction it's going!

I'm getting ready to sort shirts for an event being held in memory of one if my biggest cheerleaders. I'm wearing a "Team Jackie" shirt in honor of another great encourager who is in the midst of her own cancer battle. I just had a conversation with my boss/friend/mentor and had to see the hurt and loss in his eyes as he anticipates having to preach on the first Mother's Day without his precious wife and mother of his children. Moments like this leave me feeling sad & powerless. Sometimes the journey stinks! 

So here I am again. Putting it down in words. The very act of expressing my sadness is cathartic. Everything is not ok. Pain is real and we're surrounded by it. Today, especially today, I am thankful for my faith. While I'm sad or angry about the situations I see, I get comfort from knowing I'm loved and that God is in control. As I kneel at the cross, I'm thankful that God can bring me peace and comfort even at the most painful times. 

My Mom taught me that. 
Debbie taught me that. 
My own cancer battle taught me that. 

Sometimes the journey stinks. But, I guess if it was all easy, we'd be a pretty soft bunch of people.  Thank you God for my pain. Use it to make me stronger. Let my experiences, good and bad, be used to bring glory to You!