"How did this happen?"
"Were we foolish to believe in him?"
"But we saw him do amazing things!"
"He turned away the Pharisees!"
"He raised Lazarus from the grave!"
"Why did God allow this to happen?"
"How could the world win?"
"Surely he was the Messiah!"
"But now he's dead. Our hope is dead!"
As I sit here on this overcast Saturday, I think of the emotions the disciples must have been feeling. They had to have felt defeated. Robbed of the very hope they'd given their very livelihoods to follow. Perhaps they watched the new day dawn in hopes that the events of Friday were just a nightmare. Jesus would walk into the room at any minute and tell them again how much they were loved. "Please, God, let it be a nightmare!"
I can relate to this on a small scale because there have been days in my life when I truly felt that things couldn't be happening the way they were. When my Grandmother died, I yelled at God: "How could You let this happen? For one of the first times in my life, I listened to Your call. I walked away from the Air Force to help here. For what?! So I could sit and see the pain in Granddaddy's eyes?" When I watched my Mother battled the cancer that had metastasized into her brain and spinal column, I was often bitter and cried out regularly, "Why her? Why a woman who's devoted herself to You and others my whole life?! How is this fair? It makes no sense!" When I heard my diagnosis of Stage 4 head and neck cancer I was floored. This time I was more worried about Lisa and her fears than my own. Again it was, "Why? How is this fair?" Finally I've watched more friends than I care to think of battle disease and illness. Debbie Lloyd's battle with breast cancer was deeply personal to me as I watched how it affected Rich and the kids. When I recently heard of Jackie Depew's recurrence, I was angry to the point of being speechless.
Every day we can look around us and see pain, injustice, selfishness, self-destructive behavior, and illness. It is easy to think, "The world has won!" or, "There is no hope for humanity." We find ourselves in that Saturday funk.